The Best Laid Plans

We’ve all done it…planned out our lives from start to finish. But by a show of hands whose plans have turned out perfectly without change or hiccup? That’s what I thought – I see no hands raised?

(Cue the harp music as we return to where we left off with our characters).

So, we were now married and couldn’t be happier. Of course, we had our usual bumps in the road as most newlyweds do…well, maybe we had a few more, but somehow we made it through. Note to self: do not add any extras to KD, this may cause extreme tension. One year into our marriage, Steve started having some minor health issues. This brought about frustration for me as I didn’t understand what was happening and I couldn’t fix it. The door that was open began to shut again. I started to shut down communication to Steve because I didn’t think he would understand. I thought living for the Lord and especially now that we were married would only bring happiness and good things. But as I have learned over the years, God never promised days without rain, He just promised to always be there for us and see us through.

I am not a big fan of roller coasters, but that is what we felt like we were on from 2002 on. So, as roller coasters are fast this will be the quick version of what went on. Opening our home to a wayward sister brought tension and guilt. Relationships have since been restored and the Lord has done great things in her life. Steve was diagnosed with depression. We suffered the loss of Lorna, Steve’s mother. He always says his family made the Cleavers look dysfunctional. With the passing of his mom his life and family would be forever changed. As Steve was dealing with this all in his own way, I started to lose faith again. I had to become the strong one and take care of everything. There were days I thought I couldn’t take any more. I felt so alone. I was praying, but there seemed to be no answers. It was during this time the Lord had once again focused Steve’s attention on ministry and serving Him.

Things eventually began looking up. We had just built our dream home, we were both growing spiritually again, and we were both healthy. However, we were not content with what we had. Life seemed meaningless at times. There was something missing. We had abandoned the Lord’s call again as we wanted to accomplish our dreams first. Once again, our plans were not the Lord’s plans and we slowly watched our dreams being pushed aside. In 2004, due to severe depression, Steve’s dad moved in with us. The Lord was aware of his needs and answered many prayers in the form of Carol. The two were married in 2005 and couldn’t be happier. We knew the Lord was using us as tools, but we still felt empty and frustrated. We longed to find that inner peace and contentment we once had.

A miscarriage and Steve’s declining health with a month in hospital and no answers brought both of us to the end of our ropes. We couldn’t read the Bible, we couldn’t pray. We didn’t know where to begin. It was during this time that the Lord spoke to his heart again with regards to serving Him and going to Bible school. It was in the quietness of that hospital room that he decided to stop running from the Lord. The Lord brought to mind Jeremiah 29:11-13 which states, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” After sharing this with me, we recommitted our lives to the Lord. Steve desired to obey and gain some ministry training. The sun came out that day! Once we made that decision to follow, we watched doors open with amazement. Steve applied to New Brunswick Bible Institute and was accepted. We had so many questions and doubts about all the little details, but God took care of them. Everything from the secretary being a paramedic to the school being accessible to having the first year paid for. We were even able to find an apartment that the landlord was willing to revamp so Steve could get in and out. This did not all happen over night and we were so unsure of everything. However, the Lord only asked us to GO and if we did that, He would take care of the rest. Each time we took our next step God was there waiting. For the first time in a long time we had peace and we were truly happy.

Much has happened since then and in between all that has been mentioned above, but I will share some of those details later. Since that initial step, we sold our house the following year and became permanent residence of NB. Steve went on to complete four years of training and graduated with his Bachelor of Theology degree. He was the Assistant Pastor of our church for a year and is currently working at NBBI as the Dean of Men and Director of Worship. Although the future is unsure to us, we know that being in His perfect will we will continue to experience the inner peace and contentment we had searched for and now have. Of course, there are the day-to-day struggles and each day we are learning more and feeling more and more stretched, but we know the Lord is at work and yielding to Him is the best thing to do. In addition to all these things, we have the assurance of spending eternity with our Lord and Saviour in Heaven. There is no greater joy than being saved and finding total fulfilment in God’s plan for your life.

For those of you who know us well, you know we enjoy music. Often times while going through situations we sing. There always seems to be a song for each occasion and if we can’t think of one, we make one up. A song that seems fitting when we think back over all we have gone through is “Blessings” by Laura Story. If you have a moment take a listen.